Hello, my name is…

Every culture has a way of naming people. In Mali last names were important as they identified a person with their “name family” which gave them status and joking rights (bean eaters was a common insult). In Colombia there is also a different systems of names which has lead to confusion and some very awkward moments in my life.

Here are two key differences between Colombian and North American methods of names:

1. When a woman marries, she does not change her last name.

2. When a child is born, the child is given two last names: the first last name of the father and the first last name of the mother. For example, if I was Colombian, my name would be: Sarah Silberstein-Mayfield.

Since our school is American-based, up until a few years ago, the policy was in place that Colombian female staff were to follow the North American tradition of a wife taking a husband’s last name. For example if a teacher’s legal name was Sofia Cardoza-Rodriguez*, and her husband’s name was Luis Mendoza-Gutierrez*, her school name would be Mrs. Mendoza. This was to (attempt) to clarify family names and follow the model of the wife identifying with the husband. However, on all legal documents they would keep their legal name, like in this case Sofia Cardoza-Rodriguez. This is why my Colombian facebook friends have different last names than I knew from school.

Now our school has slowly allowed teachers and staff to choose which name they would like to identify themselves. For some staff they like having the choice to identify with their husband in that way. Others know that the students are used to their married names and keep it to avoid confusion. Still others are changing to their legal names. Many of the Spanish teachers have been allowed to use “profe” in front of their first name to avoid any confusion at all.

Now since I am North American and have decided to legally change my name to my husbands, this has caused some interesting moments outside of our school. A few weeks ago when we checked into our hotel on the coast, the receptionist wanted to confirm with me that the bed in our hotel room was a double bed, not to singles. Finding that assurance a bit strange- after all I am married- I laughed and we proceeded to check in. Only an hour later it dawned on me that because Ed and I have the same last name, it was assumed we are brother and sister- not husband and wife. Once I realized the misconception we laughed at how awkward our check in must have been for that poor receptionist.

Little by little we learn to understand and grow in Colombia. Names are such a small thing, but really do make a difference. I am just glad for gracious people who are able to understand both cultures and help us all out with the complexities of living side-by-side.

*All names are fictional for the sake of illustration